The theme of this season seems to be loss.
I have been walking with families who have been faced with this indescribable reorientation of time, of place, of self, of the future.
Pregnancy loss is both seemingly "what happens one in every four pregnancies" but also, can be completely devastating when it happens to you.
For early losses, many people haven't even begun care with a provider and are left to navigate alone, making decisions quickly without much time to ground, grieve and recover.
I wanted to share a little bit about what I have been doing to support those who are experiencing loss, with the hopes that this may help-
I experienced a 7-week miscarriage right before conceiving my second child, and found the experience to be disorienting. Hormonally, my body was adjusting, rather quickly, from being pregnant to suddenly not. I was tending to my young son and found it hard to gauge my bleeding, found it hard to rest. Emotionally I was surprised at how sad I was, yet how trusting I was that it wasn't meant to be.
I remember holding the clots that I had passed and feeling both deep gratitude and despair
Even having walked with dozens of women through the experience, it was different when it was happening to me.
Here is what I am focusing on in walking with families through losses:
Physical Rest and Adequate Nourishment
Someone that is experiencing a miscarriage or pregnancy loss IS POSTPARTUM. This means our bodies need to heal. Asking for help with work, household responsibilities, childcare, even if just for one day can make a significant difference in our healing processes. Our bodies respond to time and attention that we are able to gift them, and offering our bodies time to grieve, to release, and nourishment in terms of restorative food can go a long way.
Guided support as to what to expect, options for passing the pregnancy and what to be aware of in terms of bleeding.
Pelvic support- Pelvic Steaming, Bodywork, Moxibustion. These ancient, simple and potent modalities are incredible ways to tend to the ligaments, muscles and tissues of our pelvic bowls. I would recommend finding an Arvigo Practitioner in your area or an experienced acupuncturist. Pelvic steaming is incredibly simple modality. There are lots of videos and resources online. I create and sell herbal steam blends in my shop- they come with directions for use if you are interested.
Herbal Support -
I created a pregnancy support bundle in response to clients moving through losses. It includes an herbal steam blend, cramping tincture, a replenishing tincture for balancing hormones and restoring minerals postpartum, flower essences, herbal tea blends, and herbal body oil to anoint and tend to our bodies, which need our touch and our love at this time.
If you are trying to work with perhaps some herbs nearby or already in your arsenal, I've found nettles, dandelion, oatstraw and ginger to be especially incredible during these times-
I would love to hear what has been helpful for you or someone you know who has experienced this- Please send along an email or leave a comment here- I am collecting as many resources as possible to share and connect with people who do reach out to me. Any and Everything a reader has to offer will always be welcomed with gratitude.